Heart Attack at Midnight

I was submitting a comment on someone's blogpost, which I don't remember whose, when suddenly it stopped. Further clicks didn't went through. Later on it said that my blogsite is deleted. Attempts to open the site again were all futile. I went through lots of log ins, password verifications and blogger asking for my mobile phone number, promising of a verification number through an SMS. I went through several attempts of putting the verification number and everytime i put the 6 numbers, it says i submitted the wrong entry. Then Blogger sent me a new one whenever the last one failed. I got a total of nine (9) verification numbers from 12:00 midnight to 2:00am.

I even already sent an email to One and Autumn Belle because at one point they mentioned having experienced it in the past, or I think Autumn Belle did. I am sure they will see my message tomorrow morning, as it is midnight and  most people are now asleep.  I also thought of calling PlantChaser, but he is sleeping now too! I attempted to post a question to Blogger Help.  After reading questions related to my experience, replies there were still not satisfactory. Nothing seemed to solve my problem. Besides, most of the questions happened a few years back. So, I posted my question even with the thought that help from that option might also be futile. It was just a last resort just like a gamble. It was also an attempt to convince myself that i don't give up. But Everything failed!!!

When I decided on my failure, My Account in Google suddenly appeared. I haven't seen this for a very long time. I have been blogging for years, but looking at this page didn't seem necessary. I actually didn't change any entry for fear that i might aggravate the matter. My understanding of computer system is so very 'low-tech' that even simple things like this scared me! OMG, does it mean years of blogging and all those photos I've painstakingly accumulated in those posts were all gone! All the things I've felt that time was tantamount to having an attack! Fortunately, the blood pressure did not went with it with the same force! I even started  blaming myself for not following Autumn Belle's suggestion that we must all do the back-up. I actually did it in the past but all I got in my hardware are long lists of computer language, which did  not make sense to a computer-lingo-challenged person like me! I confess my computer IQ is really very low!

I am getting nowhere,  so I just closed all the opened sites, telling myself to calm down and accept whatever happened. I've been robbed before and maybe that's just like that! I have already spent two hours trying to retrieve it, but to no avail. It is already 2:00am and i should be sleeping. A consolation for me is that tomorrow is Saturday, so I can maybe recover the lost hours of sleep.

Wonder of wonders, when i tried opening blogger again, it slowly opened at the dashboard site. I almost fainted, now with relief and joy! I clicked View Blog and it opened, just as I know how it was in the past! Now i am home, the feeling of security, trust and reliance came back. It maybe just tricked me, or that is what I decided to believe. I didn't know what happened, and I don't want to know anymore. What I know now is I have my blog back, Andrea in this Lifetime is RESURRECTED. Now this is a new life. Maybe i should start making a back-up, or change my blogsite title. This time it will be....Andrea's Life Too, or maybe Andrea's Other Life...Haaay what do you think? I feel so sleepy. Buzzzzzzzzzzz. Ngorrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk!

Biodiversity Garden, so it seems!

(This cannot be opened yesterday, thought a virus had set in, can't even report to blogger! then today it is okay again, dont realize what had happened). Grrrr! holloween greetings?

Early in this lifetime i prefer an organized, orderly, well-arranged garden. In fact i had been dreaming that i was full time in planting a flower garden on my lawn. The reality is i don't have a lawn because i don't have a house. In our house in the province what we have is a mix-up of several ornamentals, flowering or just vegetatively growing. I longed to one of these days re-arrange them in the orderly fashion i had in my dream. In fact, i actually abhor what Nanay did with these plants. It started nicely, then all the pruned parts were replanted in whatever available space there. 'Sayang' sabi ni Nanay! The problem is, every top which she put on the soil will eventually grow! Talk of green thumb, Nanay has all green finger tips! There was even an episode when i had to uproot some tips and throw them away. Nanay will think that some hens could have gotten them out of the soil.

Today, i changed my perspective. Instead of arguing and disliking this garden, which is the only one we have, i'd rather love it, appreciate it and tend what it already is. Now i am calling Nanay's garden as Nanay's Biodiversity Garden. It is in fashion, environment friendly, love for earth, etc. etc. And then the magic came! Here comes a lot of butterflies especially at the start of the rainy season. Everytime i am home, i am in front of it, tending it, loving it and appreciating and photographing the butterflies. I even immitate Nanay's style to make it more biodiverse. I even planted an orange wild Lantana camara coming from my last trip to Bohol. It is very well loved by the butterflies. Nanay is already 79 years old, and i think this is one of her best therapy for staying strong. I am now reaping the fruits of her labor, can view the flowers and the butterflies. We are heirs to this beauty and in the future this will stay.

Maybe i can already conduct a species richness or Biodiversity Index study in this garden. Next time i will do that!

Hypolimnas bolina on Duranta erecta flowers

Ideopsis manillana on Lantana flower

Papilio rumansovia on the left and Ideopsis manillana feeding on dill

I love the colors of young rose leaves! This larva is very artistic!

Missing Karmi's Blog

I have long been in contact with Karmi, since i saw her blog thru Ging's. I never missed her blog since then. However, in the past few months i have not been active with mine. Unfortunately, i cannot open her blogsite's link anymore. After 2 weeks i tried again in another window and found her opening blog that she will be leaving the blog for some more important work to do. Maybe she was busy after her marriage, or she got work assignments which need full attention.

I cannot open the site anymore, so cannot continue reading her last entry of saying goodbye. I missed Karmi, her excellent articles on whatever comes her mind. I found one comment in my last entry which was a few months after the penultimate one. It was very brief and i did not see any indication of her whereabouts.

Maybe i will be able to locate her email address, at the moment i still don't know if that is still possible. Next time i will try.

Hi Karmi, i've been missing your posts. I am sorry i was not able to read your goodbye nor tell you mine. See you next time and take care. Regards to Andres, my namesake!

Fragrant Rosal for you!

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I toured Rome alone!

I have been out of blogspot for about 2 months, and was reading Angels and Demons for the 2nd time. I appreciated it better this time. I even got my Rome book trying to look at the photos of the scenes being described by Dan Brown. I was so engrossed with it that i had to review my old photos of Rome. It has almost been 4 yrs, but the memories kept coming back. The significance of the whole visit was not only down memory lane, but a healing experience, because it is a visit to a pastlife!

However, the whole story will not be posted here. It was only revealed to a few souls, souls who understand, who relate in understanding past lives.

I am very lucky to have FAO as my base, because it is just walking distance to the center of the ruins or the Roman Forum, the Colloseo, the Campidoglio, the museums, Basilica Aracoeli, etc

The Coloseo is just one block away from FAO, very convenient for someone like me who doesn't know directions and afraid of trains and buses!

From the Colosseo i just followed the tourists, later on finding out that it was the Via Sacra, or the Sacred Path, which passed by the center of the Roman Forum to the top of the Capitoline Hill. The Constantine Arch (above) is located near the entrance to the ruins.
The above was the site of the Roman Forum, the center of the Roman Empire

I entered maybe 4 or 5 museums including the Museo Centrale del Resorgimento and the Instituto Luce, but did not stay much in some interesting finds because i need to cover much space in so short time. With a Rome book in tow, which i just bought inside the ruins, i learned where i am currently in.

I was the only Filipino among the tourists, and maybe i am the only one not belonging to a group. And...i am the only one who wears a hat because of the hot sun, and sometimes putting my black jacket on top of my head to lessen the heat! Their looks seem to say "why is this tourist afraid of the sun, when all of us are welcoming it! Amazing!"

The She-wolf at the top of the pillar at the Capitoline Hill is feeding twins, Romulus and Remus, when their father was overthrown. They were cared for by the Shewolf until found by a herdsman. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitoline_Wolf

At the top of the Capitoline Hill, designed by Michaelangelo with his famous Capitoline stairs, are 3 museums facing each other. At the topmost portion of the hill at the top of another 124 stairs is the Basilica Aracoeli, where i realized i lost my wallet. Later, they said nobody gets their lost wallet in Rome! My case was different. I got it back from the police, through excellent translation by Alvaro, my savior in Rome to assuage his past sins! It was a case of outright serendipity, deja vu, realization, enlightenment and healing. To many, finding your lost wallet in Rome is a miracle. For me, understanding so many questions at instant is the miracle (enlightenment), but actually it is just a fact of the universe. Intuitions are gifts and following them will put you at the right path!

Welcome Home!

I gladly welcome you home!

That is my greetings for myself from my 2 weeks trip to Turkey and Dubai, as a professional and a friend, respectively.

The Tale of the Sunflower Seeds

For Betty this would be boring, for Loree this is amusing, for Ninita this is a reminder, for Florvee this can be a lesson, for me this is greaaaat! What about for Ging, whatever i feel like she is with me.

I have this very close friend, so i thought, who was amused that he bought sunflower seeds from SM to give as 'pasalubong 'for some of his not very close friends. He did not buy anything from Taiwan for these friends, anyway the sunflower seeds seem like it came from there. He told me this as a secret, he knows i will not tell his other friends who will receive the 'precious' presents. After a few days, he gave me a pack of sunflower seeds from Taiwan! A lot of things came rustling in my head. He forgot that he divulged his secret to me and another friend. Or he really wanted me to know i am scratch, cheap to him. Or maybe he is really a liar!

I tried to forget that episode. But it kept on creeping into my thoughts, whenever i give something to him as 'pasalubong', or whenever he gives 'pasalubong' to me again. Sometimes i thought the chocolates can be only from SM or any supermarket. Maybe they are even expired, the children dont want to eat them, not good according to them. But the brands are known brands, maybe really expired or stacked for a long time before given to me. There are times when the 'pasalubong' seem like rejects or maybe don't fit anybody of his clan, so he gave to me. I accept them but they just stay in the drawers being not my size, because they are not really bought for me. These things go on and on, one on top of the other, recurring.

One day i can't contain them anymore because of the pattern of irresponsibility, insincerity, unconcern, ungratefulness, untrustworthiness, lies and more. I told him i am one of those who received the sunflower seeds. To add more insult to injury, he said actually it is not bought from SM but 'sa tabi-tabi lang'. No sorry no regret no surprise came from him. He just looked at me, as if i was an unfeeling stump. And to the other things of the same intensity i expressed to him, he did not say a thing, not even budge. It seems like i was even the unusual other. I was expressing things to a wall, a wall without a name, a wall without ears!

And the sunflower seeds, which received my intensity, went to the bin!
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My New Billboard!

Hey friends, i've just made a new billboard! And look who is my model. Of course, he is my lawyer-medical doctor-ornithologist-photographer-friend...Dennis Gumpal.

A contest is open for guessing where this place is. Hurry as a big prize is at stake. (please click photo to enlarge)

Reminishing/s

My "Kuya" during our undergraduate years visited me in the office after years and years of not seeing each other. To me he is just "Kuya" but his name is Charlz. I am eldest of four daughters, and when i was younger, i pacified the need for a big brother in the person of my constant companion in college. We were very good friends with almost same preferences. He is older and everytime we come to gatherings of people who dont know us, they asked if he is my older brother. Nobody asked if he is my boyfriend or something to that effect, just 'is he your brother"? We realized we have similar facial features and color, and these prompted me to call him "Kuya", so nobody asked questions anymore.

He is also the eldest in the family and the only boy. I recall, his two younger sisters always come to me whenever they have some little problems, as if i am their older sister too. I appreciated that, of course. However, after graduation we went separate ways. Somehow our professional careers excluded each other in our paths. Can you imagine my joy in seeing him again!

I am however, very sorry that he is now slightly diabetic, with high blood pressure and just become claustrophobic. I felt bad for him, as his work demands frequent flying. That would limit his access to more work and more wonderful places, especially for his work on Social forestry, conservation, teaching and journalism. At least he is also meditating, that will help maintain his health. I will be praying for you and am very glad we re-connected again! You will be fine!

The Sandpiper...a touching story

FW: Cesar Maligalig thru the Batchmates
Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 3:25:03 AM
Subject: Fw: I Wish You a Sandpiper

The Sandpiper
by Robert Peterson

She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea. "Hello," she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child. "I'm building," she said. "I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring. "Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand." That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by. "That's a joy," the child said. "It's a what?" "It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy." The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed completely out of balance. "What's your name?" She wouldn't give up.

"Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson." "Mine's Wendy... I'm six." "Hi, Wendy." She giggled. "You're funny," she said. In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me. "Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day." The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed. "Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?" "What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance. "I don't know. You say." "How about charades?" I asked sarcastically. The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is." "Then let's just walk." Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked. "Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages. Strange, I thought, in winter. "Where do you go to school?" "I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation.

"She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed. Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home. "Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, "I'd rather be alone today." She seemed unusually pale and out of breath. "Why?" she asked. I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, My God, why was I saying this to a little child? "Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day." "Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!" "Did it hurt?" she inquired. "Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself. "When she died?" "Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there. Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door. "Hello," I said, "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was." "Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies." "Not at all -- she's a delightful child." I said, suddenly realizing that I meant what I had just said. "Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you." Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

"She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But! the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." Her voice faltered, "She left something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?" I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for some thing to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with "MR. P" printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues -- a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed: !A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words -- one for each year of her life -- that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand -- who taught me the gift of love.
...

Making a blogspot

 Hello everyone. It has long been my wish to make a blogspot, but time doesn't always allow me. Ging Ortiz (doctorging.blogspot) inspired me because her spot can efficiently convey her experiences. I can visualize her descriptions very well. I might not be as good in writing but i will try to convey my messages too. Dennis and Joyce blogspot (gumpal.blogspot) is equally beautiful, with the nicely worded essays in the dialect, with very good pictures as well. I hope you will join me in this corner.

Since last year, Marlowe and I tried to make the Lenten Holidays as the time to visit friends. That way we only have 3 days official leave but we were out the whole week. Last year we were in Malaysia. We stayed in my friend's house, Aminah, at the University Kebangsaan Malaysia. Last week we went to Cambodia and Thailand. We are very-very lucky to have very close friends around the world. Even without much travel money we were able to travel abroad with their help.

Aminah was also a visiting scientist at the CSIRO, Sydney in 1985 when i was there. We stayed in one flat at Chatswood in our last month there. Email was not yet discovered during those years and we lost contact after a few years. Fortunately, she is still in the same university making it easier for me to contact her even after 22 years. Malaysia was a very wonderful learning and travelling experience for me and Marlowe.

The Cambodia-Thailand trip is an equally enriching experience. Nimol is Marlowe's dormmate at the International House (IH) in UPLB during their graduate studies. He is from Pnomphen so we took the Bangkok-Pnomphen flight, stayed there for a day and a night before proceeding to Siem Reap, our main destination. Nimol used his car guiding us in Pnomphen, took a leave from teaching for 3 days from his university to join us in Siem Reap.

Angkor Wat in Siem Reap, i thought is the whole term for the ruins. False, it is only one temple in the so many temples built since the 10th century.